Tough in the streets

This story caught my eye tonight as I was watching some Fox News asshat congratulate the cop who assaulted this participant in Critical Mass. For some reason the bicyclist was arrested. I don't really get it.

It another fine example of this nation's absurd attitude toward people who are not only doing them no harm but picking up their slack and cutting oil consumption so they can fuel their Hummers, boats and those little scooters they use to get around the grocery store so they never have to accidently burn calories.

Just yesterday I was nearly beaten up outside my office by some jerkoff who followed me after I stood up for myself when he cut me off. Apparently it takes a big man in a big truck with a tiny penis to get out of his car and threaten a 23-year-old girl on a bike. 

Fortunately the guy was a pussy and some construction workers outside the building seemed ready to jump to my aid. One of them told me as I was leaving that I didn't have anything to worry about and that the guy who followed me wasn't getting anywhere near me.

Glad to see someone can appreciate the plight of a bicycling badass.

Just another day on the job

I know I was the only one who just saw the sports guy take a picture of himself in front of a Channel 2 Sports logo with his cell phone. Wish I could get my hands on the pic.

The saddest little apartment

We've started selling our stuff on craigslist. It's been amazing to see how quickly our crap is selling. Still, it's left a sad, sad little apartment with a chair we stole off the lawn, an exercise ball and an air mattress left over from a visitor. Ish.

I guess it's great motivation to get out of the place and on with my life.

Breakin' up is hard to do

I think I've realized the real reason Andrew and I have been together for so long. It's not 'cuz we're so great together and all that junk. I just don't deal well with change and I don't like ending chapters in my life.


It was with that bent that I recently 'fessed up to my eminent departure from Alaska (from the Railbelt to the Beltway). I figured if I told my boss before I took off for a week-long vacation he probably wouldn't hate me so much when I got back. As it turns out, I was making the least dramatic departure around the office.

The collision of Tim and Jan's trip, John Tracy's departure and the reality of another move to another new place threw me into a bit of a tizzy. I'm pretty sure I understand why people get hooked on drugs to manage panic attacks.

Fortunately, Jan helped my put my head back on straight. That's what moms do, I guess, remind you that they love you, but that life will go on without you around. They're also pretty great for nit picking and nagging about crazy things like putting oil in a car.

So the clock is ticking. T-minus a month to eat pounds and pounds of halibut and winnow my life's belongings down to about 100 pounds for transport. Anybody need some new clothes? How about a vacuum? Half a bottle of 409?

On air talent

I'm just wondering if there is another job in the world where it is not only accepted, but encouraged, to spend a day out of the office getting your hair and make-up done.

It's all the name of the stations' image, but man it's ridiculous.

Anchorage's vendetta against bicyclists rages on

There's been a palpable change around Anchorage since the snow melted and the days began to stretch. I'm now seeing others on their bicylces. Fellow pedalers by the hundreds, in fact. I no longer get heckled by drivers passing at 30 miles an hour and I can make amazing time now that my studded tires are off.

This seasonal shift must have lulled me into a false sense of security because I was certainly caught off guard outside the post office today.

I'm the first to admit I often look ridiculous while riding my bike. The helmet I wear was spray painted gold to help finish my Legends of the Hidden Temple Green Monkey costume for Halloween. My attire varies from a rolled up pair of jeans to workout capris depending up on the day. I've dropped the reflective vest I wore for the winter. With 19 hours of daylight I bank on drivers seeing me.

Anyway, I was fastening my gold helmet after situating my iPod. I had just mailed a slew of birthday wishes and a toothbrush and was about to unlock my bike from it's make-shift rack (a parking meter) when I caught this fat, bearded Santa-esque character out of the corner of my eye.

He was jostling around readying himself to get in the passenger side of a Geo Metro. He was a big dude. Big. Jolly.

I could see him say something to me but couldn't hear it over the Amy Winehouse blaring in my ear.

"What's that?," I asked him, pulling a headphone out of my right ear.

"You all sure do look ridiculous with those helmets on," he said in what I can only imagine was that strenuously-breathed obese person way.

"Well I'll take looking silly if it keeps my brains off the road."

"You know they did some studies in Australia that found they don't help all that much. You're more likely to snap your neck in one of those."

"I guess I'll take my chances," I said as I hastily left the situation.

It takes a big pair, an Alaska-sized pair to call someone out as looking goofy whilst looking absurd yourself. I guess it's just another in the series of minds that have snapped shut to the idea of biking in Anchorage. It's just surprising, just sad.

Midnight sun and public broadcasting

Summer in Alaska is insane. Insane. It is something the healthy human brain cannot handle. I am sitting awake at 2 a.m. because my brain notices it's light out.

Fortunately there's a great documentary on PBS. Working a night shift has helped me see some pretty great stuff, the evolution of Las Vegas, the importance of corn and a two-part series on FDR. Public broadcasting is great.

If Alaska were nothing but June sunlight and PBS, I think more people would live here.